I’m sitting cross-legged on my couch listening to girl power anthems and hoping that inspiration will slap me upside the head, but surprisingly, that doesn’t work. All it does is get me weird looks from my husband for my seemingly silent singing and wild air guitar solo.
Writing regularly is hard, particularly when my secret goal is to wow the world with my witty banter and clever, sarcastic quips so that I can quit my job and work on my true calling in life: becoming a cheese librarian.
But my brain hasn’t been full of humorous stories or ways to make you laugh about how I routinely head butt the paper towel dispenser at work. It’s been contemplating serious things like this whole debacle with Kavanaugh and Ford or trying to figure out how to love people how Christ would while not condoning sin and how that looks in my 21st century life. My brain has been thinking about boring adult things like credit scores and grocery budgets and cleaning schedules.
I’m sure I could probably find humor in those things, but like most 30 year olds, I’m also very tired and very good about telling people often just how tired I am. In fact, I had a 10 minute conversation at work today with a co-worker discussing how badly we both needed a nap at 3 PM today. But when I’m tired, my brain will say no to writing exercises, refusing to engage in any activity except eating popcorn and watching addicting British home-building shows on Netflix.
And then sometimes when I do sit down to write, I start berating myself for not being a good enough writer/blogger. I remind myself that I don’t respond quickly enough to comments, that I don’t post enough on social media, and I don’t know enough about running a self-hosted blog so I’m probably screwing everything up. I get so worked up that I close the laptop in frustration, a “what’s even the point attitude” and find myself scrolling through Instagram mindlessly until I fall asleep on the couch in my work clothes.
But I will keep trying, and I treasure every single one of you who read this. Please be patient with my tired brain as I adjust back to real, post-vacation life and try to muddle my way through this blogger life. ❤️😆